Relapse and Recovery

Relapse is so common in tobacco recovery that we need a plan for it just to feel safe.

When we take this approach we cannot be defeated by the addiction. We identify every pattern, every mistake, every step that led to our challenge and learn from it.

We develop new insights into our attachments and update our action plan as we go.

Over time we become someone who can get through a day just fine, without tobacco.

Keep working your recovery plan and that day will come to you as well.

What is Recovery?
The importance of understanding that recovering from smoking is a process, a lifelong process. It’s a process about getting well and becoming well.

What is Recovery? 

Learn the difference between quitting and recovering.
The program was previously referred to as “Libertas” all proper rights were acquired by Vitae Health & Wellness Inc. to be used under the “The Tobacco Club” banner.

Transference

The process of substituting one pain manager for another after stopping smoking is called transference.
This concept of transference is well established in other addictions and it is no different with tobacco.
It is important that we understand this concept and are prepared to deal with it, as it can often lead to relapse if ignored.

“As far as I’m concerned, all addictions are ways to avoid unacceptable feelings.” — John Bradshaw

Transference Examples:

• from tobacco to food
• from tobacco to jogging
• from tobacco to anger
• from tobacco to conflict
• from tobacco to alcohol
• from tobacco to gambling
• from tobacco to sex
• from tobacco to shopping
• from tobacco to television
• from tobacco to marijuana
• from tobacco to working
• from tobacco to pills

So, here we are, confronted with the reality of transference. It happens to virtually every-
one, and to some extent could be considered normal. Let us plan for it.

Weight Gain Transference

Many women report that their number one reason for relapse is weight gain. If we do not prepare for the transference to food, this can happen.
We develop a recovery plan, pick a quit day, join a support group, put the cigarettes down and 48 hours later we eat, eat, eat. We eat to medicate our feelings. Food consumption can be an addiction in its own right.

• We eat sweet things to comfort ourselves.
• We eat to get through a bad moment in our day.
• We eat to soothe our fears.
• We eat to distract ourselves from boredom.
• We eat to reward ourselves for a job well done.

Then, a few days later, we awaken to find a chunkier version of ourselves staring back at
us from the bathroom mirror. This is not acceptable. This does not fit my idea of who I am.
It is not compatible with my identity.

Now my crisis involves my identity. My pain revolves around my weight gain. I am no longer focused on recovery from tobacco addiction. I want to lose this weight. I hate it. I
smoke.

“The most common recovery for addiction is addiction.”
— Terry Kellogg

Anger Transference

Many men report that when they drop their smokes it isn’t long before the anger surfaces. It is a scary time for men. So we follow our withdrawal management plan. It takes time to learn how to process our feelings.

“I have come to understand that I managed my anger, my feelings by smoking them away. Now that I no longer smoke I am afraid of my own anger. My prime coping mechanism, tobacco smoke. handled all my feelings including the anger. I intend to use a patch and self dosing strategy for the first 90 days until I learn the basics of regulating my emotions.

Men and women suffer from both conditions. Women do get angry and if not expressed it can become depression. Men also can eat too much to manage their feelings and become overweight. Both scenarios are operative in both genders.

Learning to live with absence…

Learning to live with absence is a strategic approach to transference and will benefit your recovery tremendously, providing a way to understand a terrible empty feeling which often surfaces shortly after quitting. This concept is a deep one and it comes to us from the grieving community.

Learning to live with absence represents a primary core recovery technique. Moving out into the smoke free world, we can quickly adopt the outer coping strategies.
i.e. how to handle sabotage, work pressures, frustrations, weight gain etc. However, it is the inner strategies, which receive so little attention, that usually trip us up and trigger relapse. We feel empty inside. The emptiness draws us back into the tobacco world by making us think that cigarettes are necessary for survival again.

We learn to live with this emptiness until the void it represents has been overtaken by the brand new you.

If we do not come to peace with this ocean of absence, we drown in the despair of addiction. We simply substitute food for tobacco, we get too heavy and then we relapse. We rage at those around us, and in our shame and fear we relapse into smoking.

Identifying our core attachments to tobacco is an ideal way for us to stop being driven by the subconscious need for protection.

If we become aware of the danger of transference and understand how our recovery plan needs to consistently address this issue, then it need not happen.

Transference is Normal

Be yourself. Accept yourself as you are. Begin here. This is solid ground. If we commit to recovery, we must learn how to address this issue and work through it.

Transfer to Fitness

If we accept that transference is normal, then perhaps we can frame this part of the recovery process as a way that helps us simply transfer to healthy things. While we are learning how to be in touch with our feelings, let’s transfer our pain manager to:

• a healthy fitness program
• a sensible eating plan
• a daily meditation
• a set of positive affirmations
• a commitment to expressing our feelings in healthy ways
• becoming a good model for our children
• not being afraid of our emotions
• a daily walk
• volunteering in our community
• a daily journal
• a yoga program
• a deeper life
• making peace with our pain
• letting things be as they are
• trying not to control everything
• a new way of living

Why exercise?

Exercise is any physical activity where the objective is to improve or maintain physical fitness. With the improvement and maintenance of physical fitness comes the improvement and maintenance of health. Health has physical, social, mental and emotional aspects. Exercise is a tool used to help people reach their ultimate goal of positive health. Positive health is associated with a capacity to enjoy life and withstand challenges, not merely the absence of disease.

Benefits

Some of the specific effects of exercise are:

Reduces risk of:

• Coronary heart disease
• Non-insulin dependent diabetes
• Obesity
• Osteoporosis
• Colon cancer
• Hypertension and stroke

Helps:

• Improve sleep
• Manage stress
• Reduce anxiety
• Relieve depression
• Increase resistance to mental fatigue

Positive contribution to: 

• Maintenance of a healthy body weight
•  Psychological well-being
• Self-efficacy and self-esteem
• Perceived quality of life

Before starting a fitness program it is always a good idea to make a list of all the reasons that are important to you. This will help to keep you motivated. Use this list as an example.

• I will feel better about myself
• My stress level will decrease
• I will look healthier
• I will be in a better mood
• I will be a good example for my kids and family

Making Changes

Once you have decided that you are ready to make some changes in your current lifestyle, take the time to do a little research. Look into what kind of activities you would enjoy and realistically be able to commit yourself to. No matter how perfectly designed your exercise program is it will do you absolutely no good if you are incapable of following through with it. Often people become so motivated that they set unrealistic goals for themselves. This leads to nothing but a sense of failure, and few health benefits. So take your time, and enjoy yourself along the way.

What you need to get started

Make sure you have the appropriate equipment. Good shoes, comfortable clothes, and a water bottle are important. Different activities call for different equipment. Most importantly, you’ll need to set your goals and fill in a Self Contract in your journal or workbook to reinforce the commitment to your fitness program.

Note: Consult with your physician before beginning any fitness program.